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Friday, December 25, 2015

She's a storm ~


She was a storm
Of quiet waters
And raging winds
Silencing the roaring flames
Putting out the fire

Controlled chaos
Races through her mind
And there is something
About her
That makes you know
She’s going to be great

She’s a stillness
Of the heart
When she puts her hand up
And it means she’s going to speak
There is power
Behind her ‘no’
And it makes perfect sense

She’s thunder in the dark
Raven hair
In a gold lit day
But she’s never afraid
Not in front of anyone

Because a storm is never afraid
Of the sun
That will dry her out
She knows
The clouds will always gather rain
And the storm knows
She will be back

Monday, December 21, 2015

these four walls ~


beyond these four walls
is a world that’s waiting
and facing it without you
is infuriating

beyond these four walls
and the paintings that reside
is a story
of all the times I cried
for you

beyond today, this time and place
is a haunting memory
of your pretty face

and I have loved you
since the day we met
and I will love you
until the last sunset

beyond these four walls
is all the mistakes I’ve made
a younger self
with all the cards displayed

beyond these four walls
is a story that’s been told
a complicated chronicle
fine champagne and marigold

beyond today,
 and the crystal tears
is a diamond studded
diary of my fears
without you

and I have loved you
since the day we met
and I will love you
until the last sunset

Today I’d like to pretend
that you don’t matter anymore
but I see you in the end
and I hold the very breath I’m taking
and I don’t know what to say
because my heart is breaking
at seeing you with someone else




Friday, November 27, 2015

Wicked

She had a wicked smile
And a broken heart 
And a rhythm all this while
Trying to hide it all

She didn't tell a soul
That she was falling apart 
Someone reached in
And tore her heart

Crying on the pain
Its silly but it kept her sane
A warning 
To never love again 

He was a keeper 
and she was a catch
And together they made a match
If she could have made him stay

He was a handsome 
And she was a doll
And together 
They could have made a home

But he was a wanderer 
And loyalty didn't run in her blood
And it's been so long
And it was so soon

She will always love him
Underneath that wicked smile
That she flashes
When it's one night 

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

In need of hope

She was a dream
Captive to be had
She was a hope
floating on two wings
A lament of tomorrow
Singing today
She was all and she was nothing
But I loved her
like you love
Gone by days
an wispy memories
In silence and without notice
You craft stones
of tomorrow spun
on sugar candy and strands of her gold hair
I loved her
for the stubborn wilderness in her
The trace of jungle in her expensive perfume
She was messy in the way she lived
and the things she did
Chaos in the stream of a perfectly constructed life
And she fit right in
with my broken moral walls
Being kept upright by appearances and lights
I loved her against my will and without consent
She took my heart dipped it in honey
Of her caramel colored eyes
I knew we weren't meant to be
There was more than destiny breaking our paths
But I loved her
nonetheless
like allusive dreams
of traveling the world
She was in need of hope
And I was in need of visions

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Lately

Lately it's hard to breathe
And I feel like I'm on the verge of tears
Lately nights seem too short
And I've been holding it together 
With something prescribed
I've been drinking more
And eating less
And nothing seems to make sense
But he was eager to let me know 
He didn't miss me
And all we've had was nothing 
Short of hell

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

She promised

She promised the moon wrapped in Christmas paper, she said it would be good if I gave her my heart
I should have known she was lying
When I stood crying waiting for her to come home
She promised the world would be ours to keep
In a mason jar to never loose our grip
I should have known she was lying
When I kept trying to have her come back to me
But I stayed
I didn't want a broken heart
I didn't see it bleeding
As long as she kept feedimg bits and pieces of her love
She promised peace and hope
But all I had was words and a velvet rope
And I lived for the moments
When she'd fall asleep on my lap
Praying that it would be the longest nap
For only then was she mine
And even so
She'd murmur someone elses name
While I sipped some wine
She promised me the stars that shone at night
I should have known she was lying
For the star are nothing but dying rays of light

Short Forever


Life is too short to wear boring clothes.
It’s too short to drink bad wine, and not climb that mountain.
Life is too short to not buy the shoes, and not go out to dine.
Yes, life is indeed too short.
 It doesn’t matter if you have 80 years or 25.
Life is never long enough to do the things you want, to see all the places on a list, to spend time with those you love.
Life is full of demands, of options, of challenges.
To know more, study more, make more, to succeed.
Yet, it is too short to accomplish it all. To get where we want to get, to love how we want to love, to fulfill the dreams that have haunted us since we could walk.
There are moments when I think that it’s just me.
That I don’t have enough time. But it isn’t.
The world doesn’t have enough time, and of all the disagreements and all the wars we can agree that we’re always running out of time.
As if some god had planned it so, that feeling that we’re so close and yet so far. The knowledge that we can’t buy time, we don’t have life granted, we could die tomorrow without having seen the mountains, without having harvested a grape, without having kissed your grandchildren.
We could die 50 years from now and it would still be the same list of unfinished wishes, dusting in a corner desk.
We could have worked too much or not enough, yet we never have enough, we never accomplish enough, we never really succeed to the measure we wanted.
Life is too short to not have champagne on a Wednesday.
It is too short to not look down from the Eiffel Tower, to not see the sunrise over the ocean.
It is too short to not have your name printed somewhere, and to not hear someone call you Mother.
Yes, life is too short.
It’s not a question.
No, it will never be enough, our wishes are like math equations, infinite number of possibilities.
It is like a bad map, where the roads can lead to nowhere, even if we make it to our destination.
Yes, it beautiful, that is also not a question.
The moment right before you kiss someone you love, the heat of the sun over your face.
The first sip of wine, the last chocolate from the box.
The lights over the Atlantic from high above the sky.
Yes, they create memories that last forever.
Our forever, the one that is too short.
Winter is never long enough, and neither is summer and we don’t know which we like best, and we bore easily of both.
Perhaps that is why our life is short. So we don’t bore of it.
So we always know in the back of our mind, that this, right now, could be the last moment.
That this could be the last time we smile upon a stranger, that we embrace a friend.
It could be the last sentence you read, and the last you write.
We don’t stay on, because even if we’re legends we can’t do anything else.
The book closes and whatever you believe happens next is not of our concern.
Life is too short to hold grudges, to panic.
Life is too short to not take chances, to not see the snow.
Life is too short to not take flights on a whim and not speak your mind.
Yes, it is too short indeed.


Friday, October 23, 2015

SAVING GRACE

"We were not normal by any measure. 

We had a dark and twisted past, a broken pact with the devil 



and a revewed bow with God. 

We were powerful but choose to forgo whatever came with it. 

All we wanted was us. 


We wanted to be together, 

to live together to share our suceses and our milestones, we wanted freedom


freedom from it all,

 I knew deep inside she would have preferred to die 

that day when Victoria saved her. 

I knew that she had accepted death and that she welcomed it,

 feeling only slightly bad for leaving me. 

I knew that was her chance of ceasing to suffer, 

but she didn’t get it and she’s never complained. 

Kora has been the mother anyone would want, 

she has lavished me with gifts, 

choices and love. 

She didn’t get her freedom but she got a family of sorts.

Perhaps all that silly prophecy was just leading us to this,

 she was our saving grace and 

we, 

we were hers.


Tuesday, September 29, 2015

I grew up here~ home and other demons ~


why did you leave me
and where did you go
and how can I ever find you

there is a rock under the church with your name
but it isn’t you
it never answers back
and it doesn’t sing me to sleep
and it won’t come even though I’ve tried
it sits there and watches me cry

why did you leave me
you’d say you’d always be there for me
and where did you go
where is this heaven you’d speak of
there was no address
left in your will

I’ve got nothing left in this house
but phone calls and postcards
I sent long ago
Reminders of carefree days
and childhood ways


I grew up here
I told someone last night
And grandma taught me all I know
I left childhood here
I told someone last night
As I wiped my tears and not let them show


And how will I ever find you
Now that I’ve got so much to tell you
Who is going to tell me that I’ve made them proud?
o 

Saturday, August 8, 2015

Whatever I'm I Going to Do?

"Come home with me
The night doesn't end here", she said
"Come home, my love
Promise I won't disappoint"she drawled
Southern honey dripping from her words
As she raked a nail across my jaw
"You're too beautiful to go with one of them
Come home with me,"she said
She put her hand on the small of my back
Like she knew I'd accept 
Pulled the lenght of my hair aside
And kissed me, red shade mixing with her nude
It was to different to react

And I let her lead me outside

She cooed glamour in whatever words she whispered
I could not grasp
She left me wanting more
"Come home with me my love,"
I never expected it this way
To fall for someone I can't have
Someone that's spun my world on axis
Made me realize I never loved anyone before her
She isn't someone I can bring home to mom
With all her sophistication and black heels
Whatever I'm I going to do?

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

The moon ~

I love the way the sun hits skyscrapers  and they shine 
I love the way it hits the ocean like a thousand shimmering diamonds
I love that at dusk the roads seem golden
Yes I love the the sun
But I love the moon even more
The lonely lady of elegant shine
They way the moonlight casts shadows and yet lights the way
I love the way the ocean seems like silver
I love the way it illumates pale skin
I love it when it hits your eyes intensifying the shade of color
I love the way it stands proud and unafraid of the morning
I love the moon,
Because I'm a night and midnight drinks kind of woman
I'm content in the vivacity of the night and the lights of darkness
I'm saved up energy and unassuming stories.
I love the sun too
As it rises from the ashes and caresses my skin
But I'll never be a golden girl, a sunshine and rainbows again.
Not after you, not after us
But the moon
The moon understands
Ephemeral happiness and subdued rage,
The moon understands loneliness in the crowd of stars and it understands the loveliness of night.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

She's a nothing ~


she’s a nothing
a vision of the past
she’s a ghost of a life that was

she’s heartbreak raging on pain
and I’m trying to avoid her in vain
she keeps walking in my dreams

and I fade into her
and she fades into me
and I’m having a hard time
telling us apart

she’s coming with her sorries
and I’m falling for the lies
and I don’t know why I’m staying
tagging by her side

and I fade into her
and she fades into me
and I’m having a hard time
telling us apart

she’s a story
I’d like not to tell
a memory
I’d be happy to forget

she’s an illusion of what heaven could have been
and a setting of hell
as her heels blaze to be seen
and I’m strong
but she’s stronger
and I’m fast
but her reach is longer

and she’s coming with her sorries
and I’m falling for the lies
and I fade into her
and she fades into me
and perhaps we’re meant to be
in this twisted story of the past
and she fades into me
and she fades into me
and I fade into her
and I’m having troubles
troubles telling us apart

Monday, June 29, 2015

Win

You win
I'm walking away
I'll take the blame for sin
I'm leaving the war

It's a battlefield 
And you're always on the opposite side
It's been too long
And the distance is double wide

You say you don't know
How much you've hurt me
You say you don't show
The daggers in your eyes

You can take the victory 
I'm tired of this fight
I don't what we're fighting for
I don't know who's in the right 


Sunday, June 28, 2015

Why is it growing on me ? ~


Where is this going
And why is it growing on me?
I don’t chances
On welcomed advances

This isn’t like me

It’s past mid day and you’re still here
It was a one night, made it clear
But we’re having drinks in the sunshine
And singing in this house of mine

It’s going to end in heartbreak
It always does I know
But I’m going to let it go
Because I’m lonely
Because you’re fun
Because it’s been a long time since I’ve had anyone home

The sun is setting
And I’m betting
You’re going to stay the night too
The weekend is almost over
And you leave a note with a four leaf clover
And a phone

It’s going to end in heartbreak
It always does I know
But I’m going to let it go
Because I’m lonely
Because you’re fun
Because it’s been a long time since I’ve had anyone home

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Stronger Anyhow


I’ve cried myself to sleep
Over petty little things
I’ve let the water run
Over my broken wings
They are coming in the dark
Staining tears leaving a mark
On my face

I’ve put the blade on my skin
I’ve taken the last shot to win
Whatever silly game they were playing at the bar
And put a handsome stranger in my car

I’ve been here and there
I’ve been everywhere
Fall & stumble
I’ve broken down and crumbled

I was the perfect poster child
teenage sweetheart
I prayed and petitioned
Staked a claim on church rendition
But the sun never shone

Yes I’ve cried myself to sleep
Over petty little things
I’ve let the water run
Over my broken wings

I lost my faith I lost my way
And what would mother say today
It doesn’t matter now
I’m stronger anyhow